The spirit of Christmas

Christmas was nice this year. There's usually some type of holiday drama, but this year everything was unusually calm. I fought with my niece, played video games with my nephew, and none of the adults actually fought or ran out of the house crying this year so I deemed this a successful celebration of Christmas 2006. There was only one incident that actually caused a bit of drama, but it had me, my sisters, and my mom cracking up. I bought this plush rocking camel for my sister's 2 year old (Taylor). The camel seemed really cute online (that's the danger of online shopping) but one of my sisters said I didn't factor in Taylor's "nervous disposition" as her mom puts it. She's a very timid little girl that's prone to hysterics if something frightens her. Well, I put this rocking camel together at my mom's house in Dublin and when we all saw it, the first sentence out of my sister's mouth was "ohhh, that's really ugly." I originally thought it was cute but somewhere in transit an eye came unstitched and it's stare was a bit cock-eyed and extremely disconcerting. I whipped out some thread and a needle and managed to get the eye somewhat straight, but when I tried to cover it up in a big box for the big Christmas surprise, that's when I realized I may have messed up picking this thing out for Taylor. Staring out of the box, it had acquired a menacing life of it's own. It was so scary we actually laughed till tears rolled down my face thinking of little Taylor's reaction if we let her open the box and see this abomination peering back at her.
Needless to say I just pulled it out of the box Xmas morning to avert Taylor's surprise becoming one of those moments that scar children for the rest of their life. Even though I made it look as harmless as possible (with baby dolls riding the back of it), she was still terrified of it. I didn't capture that moment of absolute terror on film as her mom hoisted her in the air to drop her on this beast, but believe me, that image and her screams were was too painful to share. She warmed up to it a little after I "fed" Mr. Scary Camel potato chips and ensured her he would not eat my fingers off but it didn't help that the older kids screamed in horror too when they saw it sitting in the middle of the den...

Hippy Kryptonite

There's this contest on the Doritos website (which, by the way, is my favorite brand of chips) for the best amateur commercial to be aired during the Superbowl. My favororite is one of the more insulting ones called "Hippy Kryptonite."

Women: know your limits

Consider yourself an educated woman or know one? Do you have a strong opinion on educational equality amongst the sexes? Well, this educational video should help you realize the hidden dangers of education...

One more Onion comment...

Be responsible this Holiday Season and be mindful of how much you drink.

Al Gore Caught Warming Globe To Increase Box Office Profits

The Onion has it's top stories listed on it's website. I suggest you check it out for some good laughs.

Have you had premarital sex?

After reading this, I just wanted to say, "Duh."

Sunday Parking Downtown

Parking is free everywhere downtown on Sunday, even the pay lots, but I have some irritation I need to get off my chest. First, I went to the drive-thru Bank of America ATM to get some cash and as I turned into the parking lot, several people had parked in the ATM lane, effectively blocking it off. I don't know why it rubbed me so raw, maybe it was from being a little hung-over from the 3 Christmas parties last night, but I was pissed. I tried to tell myself it was alright because these folks were probably looking for church parking, but does that excuse them to do what other folks get towed for any other time? Well, I ended up finding parking in the lot since it was after the service and walked to the ATM and got my cash, but when I turned around these folks coming from the church gave me this suspicious look as I walked from around the truck parked beside the ATM. This gave me another flash of anger, but I just found my calm spot and thought it's not worth blowing a gasket. My next bit of anger occurred while picking up the Grit cookbook a few minutes later for a Christmas gift. I was looking for street parking behind the Grit and noticed a cop in the church parking lot ensuring that people parking were attending service. I thought he should be keeping an eye on parking at the BofA lot when I realized that church lot had ample parking spaces open. Maybe the church lot was filled earlier but it seemed a waste to not be able to park there. Then, I felt a double slap as I was greeted by street parking taken up by shiny Cadillacs and Towncars then reading the bold reminder at the Bottleworks lot of "no Grit parking." I know that sign has always been there but the parking issue just seemed to taunt me all day today. What I want to know is has anyone ever been towed from that back Bottleworks lot? The spaces are on a half a block lot so why is parking so restricted? Also, should I call Bank of America and complain about the ATM being blocked? I really don't want to be "that guy" as I have complained about a lack of parking spaces downtown before, but I suspect there are spaces to be had Sunday morning around downtown, other than the ATM drive thru lane. Anyway, I parked at the Bottleworks lot anyway and just walked thru the Bottleworks on my way to the Grit; I didn't want to chance someone from the Bottleworks or the tow company staking out the lot. When I got back to my car, I wondered if I just became a bit of a hypocrite by technically parking illegally? Who knows; who cares. I just had to get some of this off my chest. I still don't feel better.

Just because it's funny...

One of the funniest beer commercials I've seen so far.

Christmas parties

The holiday party season has begun. Evites are piling up like Christmas cards from relatives, so now, strategic party attending is in effect. I've got 2 to juggle next week and I'm looking forward to both. We had a gathering, which turned into a party, last night. It went great, especially considering I didn't get out of bed till 1:30pm. I've never prepped and cooked to the extent we did for this party. Thank God that Bruno and I had Jen to guide us through. We made vegan hors duvres for the most part with fake sausage balls, something I can't spell or pronounce, but looked like empenadas (is that spelled right?) stuffed with spinach, onions, and fake cheese, fried pickles with a peach glaze dipping sauce, vegan Mexican dip, stuffed mushrooms, and a lot of other bite sized morsels. I had many cups of our friend Margaret's hot spiced wine and brandy concoction- called grog I think-that knocked my socks off, literally. One highlight that made me laugh was actually while making the stuffing for the mushrooms. To make the stuffed mushrooms, I pulled the stem out and all 3 of us mixed together browned "Gimme Lean" fake sausage, onions, Worcestershire sauce (the cheap kind w/ no anchovies), garlic powder, spinach, and whatever else we wanted to spice it up with, then stuffed the mushrooms with it and baked them in oil and margarine. Well, we had all these mushroom stems that Bruno didn't want to waste, even if it went into the compost pile, so we tried to figure out what to make with them. When we suggested using them in the stuffed mushroom mixture, Bruno said it felt wrong. He thought stuffing a vegetable with its own guts was too cannibalistic. Now, I don't know why but that strange thought expressed aloud made me laugh way too hard. Have you ever stuffed a vegetable with its self? I thought I have before but I can't recall. Wen we get our pics back, I'll throw a few on for fun. Oh well, the dogs are chasing the cat around the house again. Poor Chloe, let me go rescue her. Later.

Boybutante

I'm obviously going thru old pics. I have one more set to share. In April, there's the Boybutante Ball, an AIDS Athens benifit. Some folks, like me, Bruno, and Jen, love to dress up based on te theme. Here's a taste from this year. If you've never been, you ave ti try it. This year's theme was the Junior League of Superheroes. We have Gold Digger, Capt. Cannibas, Super Freak, and Queen Bee...

Halloween pic 2005

This was one of my favorite costumes for Halloween. Gotta love the Wonder Twins and Gleek.

It's time.

Uh oh, it's midnight and Cinderella is late for bed (and probably for work tomorrow). Anyone know how to clone? Until then...

Neighborhoods...

My neighbor can beat up your neighbor. Is that good or bad?

Another round

Do I dare take another shot?
That last one was really rough.
But 2am is quickly coming,
I need to finish the night out.
Last call, 1 more for the road.
I still feel fine, I could walk the line,
son now its tmie to drvie bcak.

Room 13

Foosball how you tease me.
I'm a booze-bag that craves your handles all night.
Why is it I push men so hard to smack your balls?
Am I pimping your game for a quickie?
I need a nice hook and score then we'll both win.

What's a hibernating smoker?

Are the people who smoke spring, summer, and fall, then stop all winter because it's too cold outside really smokers? The normal person would say yes, but I'm a purist and say they are pussies. After tonight, I may become a pussy.

Random Commissioner Giggle

I was watching the Commissioner meeting on TV last night and laughed quite hard at Commish Maxwell's discussion on benefits for domestic partners and how his opinion was not focused on "sexy preferences." If you heard it, you may giggle too. "Sexual preferences" is a tricky word to get out while in the hot seat.

Pabst Smear Ribbon

PBR you cost too much.
WHY, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!
You once were the Belle of the Bar,
now you're the equal of the common swill.
Is nothing my equal?
Y'all on that high shelf are just out of reach.
Oh well, I still have faithful Schlitz.

Poetry?

I'll finish Part 3 of my story eventually, maybe, but I have some rather strange thoughts that pour out. I lay them out here. I hope you enjoy them as they fall on the page.