Last weekend, Bruno and I participated in the Townie Town Invitational, competing against other teams in pinball, foozball, ping pong, cornhole, and karyoke for bragging rights and a trophy with our name taped over it that we couldn't keep (I think it's displayed in the Flicker Bar). It was a drunken mixed-up disaster at times but absolute fun! Scattered between Flicker, Little King's, and Room 13, it captured the true townie spirit of cheap drinks, cheap fun, and camaraderie that makes embrace my PBR and talk to strangers about hot button issues that I usually know very little about. Our team (Ambiguously Gay Duo) kicked butt and won in a karyoke show-down against the Macho Men, but all that craziness has me thinking about which hot townie spots would win in a contest of fast flowing booze, good music, and just straight up towniness. Here's the battle list I've composed:
Best small Bar
Flicker v/s Go Bar
I'm a huge fan of random DJs at the Go Bar
Best Regular Crowd
Room 13 v/s Manhattan
I'm a Manhattan junkie, always there, always having fun, but a majority of my friends hang out at Room 13. Room 13 would probably win since you can table hop on the patio and not get stared at by your new, unknown friends.
Dirtiest Music Venue
40 Watt or Caledonia
I would consider picking up something off the floor and eating it at Caledonia. No way at the 40 Watt. 40 Watt wins.
Best vegetarian/Vegan Food
Grit v/s Clocked
I really love the Grit's Mondo Burritos and desserts, but Clocked will make anything you want vegan or vegetarian (plus they have the best tots and the staff isn't as snotty as the Grit). Alas, Grit wins due to a cookbook, cult-like following, and typical snotty townie service we all love.
best place for hanging out with a group for food and drinks
Transmet v/s Mercury
I love occasionally hanging out at Transmet with my friends drinking PBR and eating my Johnny Hector's BBQ Pizza to talk, but I really love getting drunk with a group at Mercury for some reason. That tight space at Mercury along with the stylish design makes it really fun (especially the Mario Kart on the flat screen). However, even with all those bells and whistles, it's still Transmet that's a faithful old friend who everyone enjoys everytime so I stick beside you.
Best Place to be Pretentious
Globe v/s The Farm
Now this is a true showdown. You've got intellect versus "fancy-smancy". Both are horribly overpriced for what you get but the Farm takes the cake since people will get hussied up to partake in drinking PBR at the bar while waiting on a table to eat a $13 plate of fat-back with steamed veggies.
Best place for a show
GA Theater v/s Morton Theater
Now the GA Theater is on of the best places to catch a movie the mainstream theater either wouldn't play or was yanked too early before word of mouth gave it a local cult following. You can also buy beer, although the intermission can either be extremely annoying or your best friend, particularly if you have to pee. The Morton Theater hosts the Flagpole Awards which I keep missing every year but hear great things about. I can't decide this battle, I leave it up to you.
Best Greasy Food While Drunk
The Grill v/s JB's Polish Sausage
JB's is hands-down, no discussion needed for those who have tried it.
Best Crap to Redecorate
Agora v/s Habitat for Humanity
I've picked up the nicest set of cups I own from Agora. I furnished my entire living room from Habitat for the same price I paid for those cups. Habitat wins.
Friday, October 27, 2006
One more thing about Andy Rusk
I forgot to say, I like Andy much more now because of this. I may have to get a pair. I guess you really do rock.
Candidate Debates at the Melting Point
I found the mayor and commissioner candidate debates more entertaining than I could have believed. I've read all sorts of stuff about what was said and who did what so I'll just jump right into where I stand after listening to everyone on Thursday. For the District 9 commission seat, I'm very biased towards Kelly Girtz. I've known him for a while and throw my support fully behind him to capture the District 9 seat. Everyone who talks to him, ends up liking him. No hidden agendas, completely approachable by anyone, and always open to what you have to say. Unfortunately, I'm not a voter in his district, but I do think he will be a great choice. Alvin Sheats just cracked me up. Everything started or ended with, "This is Alvin Sheats, lead candidate for district 9." His pleas for listeners to vote for him without reason other than his previous 8 years of local government service was rather embarrassing and having the audience laughing at him during all of this made me almost feel sorry for him. Even Andy Rusk had a quick poke at him. Sorry Alvin, but I think the old days of your constituents voting strictly by name recognition is over. Athens politics has grown more competitive over the course of 10 years. Now, Ed Vaughan has support from a lot of the green community with his dealings with the local Green Party and Human Rights Festival, and has ran for a commissioner spot before, so that may give him a boost in the race, but I still side with Kelly. I absolutely disagree with his stand on putting a gravity sewer line along Shoals Creek, so if he is elected, I sense a showdown brewing between him and several local green groups in town, which would be weird since he is a Green Party candidate. I think the District 1 commission seat with Garland and Lowry will be a hat toss. I haven't followed their race very closely, but from listening to their comments, the biggest issue I felt that they disagreed upon and made them stand out was the UGA Greeks moving off campus. Lowry said Greeks should stay on campus, Garland said he would have approved their move into a neighborhood, as seen with KA. I'm guessing that since District 1 is deep on the East Side and probably wouldn't be affected by the university, Garland can handle criticism without losing voter support. The final battle will depend upon if constituents in rural District 1 are more supportive of retaining their green-belt status or more focused on selling the land for profit in the future.
Now the mayor debates were by far the most interesting part of the evening. For the record, I am an unwavering supporter of Heidi. I could list reasons and debate, but honestly, I just like her. Depending who you talk to, she's been great or didn't live up to the hype during her 4 year reign as mayor, but I have found she is straight when you talk to her one-on-one, and she is involved in the local scene, which I love. I think Andy Rusk would have racked up some serious votes, but he would have siphoned quite a few votes from Heidi, making Charlie Maddox a valid threat. Andy definitely lived up to his townie reputation Thursday night, bringing spunk and drama to the debate and for that, I salute you. Andy Rusk drinking PBR, Andy Rusk dropping out of the race, Andy Rusk calling Charlie Maddox out in public for his Chamber of Commerce support, Andy Rusk throwing his support to Heidi via anti-Chamber/anti-Charlie comments with a warning of "we will be watching," and finally, Charlie Maddox losing his temper in an emotional retort to Andy (and the general public) explaining how he's his own man, no one owns him, he cares for all of ACC, and poo on those who don't believe it. It was exciting, and my 3 Terrapins I guzzled down during all of this was just icing on the cake. With all the action between Charlie, Andy, and Heidi, I almost forgot about Tom Chasteen, who is a formidable contender, and Richard DeRose who is not. I hope Andy sticks around to shake things up a bit more in the future. Uh oh, gotta cut this short and go to work. My break is up.
Now the mayor debates were by far the most interesting part of the evening. For the record, I am an unwavering supporter of Heidi. I could list reasons and debate, but honestly, I just like her. Depending who you talk to, she's been great or didn't live up to the hype during her 4 year reign as mayor, but I have found she is straight when you talk to her one-on-one, and she is involved in the local scene, which I love. I think Andy Rusk would have racked up some serious votes, but he would have siphoned quite a few votes from Heidi, making Charlie Maddox a valid threat. Andy definitely lived up to his townie reputation Thursday night, bringing spunk and drama to the debate and for that, I salute you. Andy Rusk drinking PBR, Andy Rusk dropping out of the race, Andy Rusk calling Charlie Maddox out in public for his Chamber of Commerce support, Andy Rusk throwing his support to Heidi via anti-Chamber/anti-Charlie comments with a warning of "we will be watching," and finally, Charlie Maddox losing his temper in an emotional retort to Andy (and the general public) explaining how he's his own man, no one owns him, he cares for all of ACC, and poo on those who don't believe it. It was exciting, and my 3 Terrapins I guzzled down during all of this was just icing on the cake. With all the action between Charlie, Andy, and Heidi, I almost forgot about Tom Chasteen, who is a formidable contender, and Richard DeRose who is not. I hope Andy sticks around to shake things up a bit more in the future. Uh oh, gotta cut this short and go to work. My break is up.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Raiders of the Old Fart
I love Harrison Ford, but after reading this article, I don't know if he can still pull leather pants, boots, a whip, and an unbuttoned shirt. I'm thinking more S&M leather daddy intead of Indiana, but that may have been alot of the early appeal, if you're into that of course.
Boy Snatched By Man In Gorilla Suit
I'm glad the little boy is OK, but this has to be one of the strangest abduction attempts I have ever read.
Spotted at the Daily Birthday Party
On a lighter note, I got "spotted" at the Daily Co-Op Birthday Bash at Little King's last night by a photographer for that weird onlineathens.com's photo album. It felt a bit like a candid photo session at a wedding. I was horrified when it was going down because I was on my cell phone while sitting between my friends Scott and Anthony (and a true environmental activist cannot get busted fervently talking on a cell phone without smart-ass comments from his peers). Luckily I dropped it from my ear before the shot but my PBR was left out of the shot (it was stashed behind Anthony's back while the phone was dropped in my lap-you can see the phone if you look closely enough, and no that's not a gimmick to get you to stare at my crotch, but you're coworkers or significant other may find you strange if they catch you looking hard enough).
Is ACC pushing the green agenda too hard?
There were two interesting articles I read today concerning the environment that I must comment on. The first one was about the Chamber of Commerce commenting on local issues. The Chamber has made it known in the past that they feel Athens is not pro-business. Reps for the Chamber and the Homebuilder’s Association took a jab at ACC govt’s stand on the environment, commenting that ACC's protection of the environment with 75 ft stream buffer zones, taxes on impervious surfaces for run-off, and restrictions on clear-cutting hinders new job opportunities by, I'm assuming, making it an uninviting place for bigger businesses to set up shop. Now call me naive, but I don't thing clearing 40 acres of land down to its red clay base for display helps to bring in big business. It actually prevents anything from growing there for the next 5 years other than tall weeds. Also, having that cleared property dump tons of sediment into the watershed via a bordering creek wipes out natural habitat, creates an eyesore for the area, and potentially affects our drinking water. Sure it would be nice to clear everything up to 25 ft of a stream without permission if you need to build something, but that's why variances are granted. There are folks who could spit further than that, so I don't think you need to build that close to a natural resource. Plead your case to the Hearings Board and you can build closer, if it's needed. Businesses can come to ACC, but someone needs to limit the amount of impervious surfaces (that's fancy talk for parking lots) and keep some trees for God's sake. It’s more work for the business, but it’s also more scenic as compared to the asphalt wasteland like the old Walmart on Huntington Road or the Epps Bridge Road developments including the new Walmart and Kohls in Oconee County. A board member of our group, the Upper Oconee Watershed Network, shot some video of McNutt’s Creek after a rain storm, which is just below the parking lot of Kohls, showing a beaver navigating through floating cups and papers that washed out of that parking lot. What you can’t see in the video is the motor oil and other car fluids that little fellow was swimming in also. Hey y'all, development does have negative impact to the environment if you walk far enough (like the edge of the parking lot that no one uses unless you need to do a drug deal).
Now, as far as the Homebuilder’s Association comments are concerned, I would like you, the reader, to think of how many new subdivisions, apartments, or single houses you have seen built within the past year near you home. Next time you pass them, look closely to see how many are empty. Within 2 miles of my house off Jefferson Road, I have a shit load of development going on. There's Putter’s, 105 Whitehead Drive Condos, Lantern’s Walk, the Cottages at Homewood,
Bowden Park, Lavender Lakes off of LavenderDrive, and there’s also a massive empty lot with roads, a nasty looking lake, but no houses off Kathwood Drive that’s just sad to see. I drive thru them occasionally to see how thing are going and I know several of these places have at least a 60% vacancy rate or higher, and this is just in my small circle of the county. What will happen when these places are left empty for several years? Eventually squatters and drug houses will appear, the makings of a dangerous area in place of greenspace, and you, my fine home-owning Athenians, may find yourself in a predicament like these poor Wikipedia definition describing the Atl metro area: that’s development without a leash).
Enough of that rant, there’s one other article I’d like to touch on. The article talks a little about the ACC commission revisiting the Shoals Creek Sewer line. I want to discuss it in more details for those who don't know what's happening. The Upper Oconee Watershed Network and Grow Green convinced the commission to build a force sewer main along Whit Davis Rd. instead of a gravity line along Shoals Creek at the beginning of the year. Force mains use pumps that allows sewage to be pumped uphill so sewer lines can cross any landscape. Gravity mains rely on gravity to move sewage to the treatment plant, so the gravity lines need to be placed on slopes that are usually found beside stream beds. Gravity lines would greatly increase the chance of sewage leaks into the creek which has happened on several occasions including force main sewers and gravity mains for your educational pleasure.
Now, as far as the Homebuilder’s Association comments are concerned, I would like you, the reader, to think of how many new subdivisions, apartments, or single houses you have seen built within the past year near you home. Next time you pass them, look closely to see how many are empty. Within 2 miles of my house off Jefferson Road, I have a shit load of development going on. There's Putter’s, 105 Whitehead Drive Condos, Lantern’s Walk, the Cottages at Homewood,
Bowden Park, Lavender Lakes off of LavenderDrive, and there’s also a massive empty lot with roads, a nasty looking lake, but no houses off Kathwood Drive that’s just sad to see. I drive thru them occasionally to see how thing are going and I know several of these places have at least a 60% vacancy rate or higher, and this is just in my small circle of the county. What will happen when these places are left empty for several years? Eventually squatters and drug houses will appear, the makings of a dangerous area in place of greenspace, and you, my fine home-owning Athenians, may find yourself in a predicament like these poor Wikipedia definition describing the Atl metro area: that’s development without a leash).
Enough of that rant, there’s one other article I’d like to touch on. The article talks a little about the ACC commission revisiting the Shoals Creek Sewer line. I want to discuss it in more details for those who don't know what's happening. The Upper Oconee Watershed Network and Grow Green convinced the commission to build a force sewer main along Whit Davis Rd. instead of a gravity line along Shoals Creek at the beginning of the year. Force mains use pumps that allows sewage to be pumped uphill so sewer lines can cross any landscape. Gravity mains rely on gravity to move sewage to the treatment plant, so the gravity lines need to be placed on slopes that are usually found beside stream beds. Gravity lines would greatly increase the chance of sewage leaks into the creek which has happened on several occasions including force main sewers and gravity mains for your educational pleasure.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Is meditation a religion or an activity?
I seem to be on a California kick today. I guess lots of darkly humorous stuff happens there. Years ago, a coworker told me in this hushed voice that California was full of fruits and nuts. I assumed she wasn't talking about the agricultural industry but instead was gracing me with a deliciously tasteless metaphor. I forgave her lack of tact since she felt like she knew me well enough to share her dirty little nugget of wisdom. If your going to tell someone something like that, at least say it jokingly so it won't sound extra nasty. I'm surprised she didn't toss the word taco in there for more of a punch, but then that would have made her seem bigoted. Too late. Anyway, here's the story of Transcendental Meditation versus the parents of San Rafael. I have been tempted to wave that banner of too much religion in schools, but this is an interesting twist.
Revolution in the animal kingdom
Us v/s them
Americans beware. We have a war brewing on a new front. One that threatens to bring too much diversity to America's rosy-cheeked shores. California towns near the Mexican border have declared hunting season against illegal immigrants. The latest strike has been a bold law banning illegal immigrants from renting housing. Lame. Why don't they just burn crosses like they did in the South. It worked miracles for the Southern way of living.
What is actually funny is this revealing article concerning a letter sent out to Hispanics in Santa Ana area. Nice tactics. A quote from the letter, written in Spanish, states: "You are advised that if your residence in this country is illegal or you are an immigrant, voting in a federal election is a crime that could result in jail time." Now, illegal residency is understandable, but to say if you are an immigrant, someone not born here, makes it illegal to vote is an absolute lie. Of course it was linked to a Republican campaign, you guys love punishment. The kicker is the candidate in question is Vietnamese-American. Come on, what are you thinking Tan D. Nguyen. Of all people you should under stand the desire for a better life and the desire to live the American dream.
Honestly, we have less to worry about from immigration than ourselves. I'm sure y'all heard about the 300 millionth person born this week. Jeez, it was only in the late 60s when we hit 200 million. Stop breeding like rabbits America, Social Security is already on it's last leg and I don't know if I can handle the tax burden of all those hungry mouths. I guess it's the American way. We can live where we want, have as many babies as we like, and work anywhere we desire, as long as we are not Hispanics. I know, I know, it's not fair to twist words and implicate Republicans, conservative Californians, and American families as anti-Hispanic, but I do enjoy a good rant.
What is actually funny is this revealing article concerning a letter sent out to Hispanics in Santa Ana area. Nice tactics. A quote from the letter, written in Spanish, states: "You are advised that if your residence in this country is illegal or you are an immigrant, voting in a federal election is a crime that could result in jail time." Now, illegal residency is understandable, but to say if you are an immigrant, someone not born here, makes it illegal to vote is an absolute lie. Of course it was linked to a Republican campaign, you guys love punishment. The kicker is the candidate in question is Vietnamese-American. Come on, what are you thinking Tan D. Nguyen. Of all people you should under stand the desire for a better life and the desire to live the American dream.
Honestly, we have less to worry about from immigration than ourselves. I'm sure y'all heard about the 300 millionth person born this week. Jeez, it was only in the late 60s when we hit 200 million. Stop breeding like rabbits America, Social Security is already on it's last leg and I don't know if I can handle the tax burden of all those hungry mouths. I guess it's the American way. We can live where we want, have as many babies as we like, and work anywhere we desire, as long as we are not Hispanics. I know, I know, it's not fair to twist words and implicate Republicans, conservative Californians, and American families as anti-Hispanic, but I do enjoy a good rant.
Dry as a bone
After this report, I'm guessing we'll have to wait a while for that lunar colony. And I was hoping there was still a possibility of cheese on the the Moon. I guess Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C. Clarke gave the world too much credit in the late 60s.
A little too close to home
Now this is scary. This is somewhere around the 40 Watt area I'm guessing. I have been out many times walking that stretch either coming from the Go Bar or walking to my friends' house near the Tree that Owns Itself, and hadn't been worried about an assault due to the high volume of traffic. This kid was not only stabbed twice but at 11pm also while with a group. That's pretty damn crazy. Most crap like this happens after 2am when folks are drunk. Makes me want to do one of those "Take back the Night" things. We know that downtown is surrounded by less than savory neighborhoods so be careful out ther kids and don't ever let your guard down.
Update: I just found out today one of my friends knows this guy's girlfriend who was with him at the time of the stabbing. I shouldn't be surprised, Athens is known for it's tight circles. I hear he's in the hospital but should be fine. Good Luck man, or whatever saying applies during a time of healing...
Update: I just found out today one of my friends knows this guy's girlfriend who was with him at the time of the stabbing. I shouldn't be surprised, Athens is known for it's tight circles. I hear he's in the hospital but should be fine. Good Luck man, or whatever saying applies during a time of healing...
Do you have a tattoo?
Athens has experienced this for years. Tattoos and piercings are common with younger people. I am in my 30s now, but have 2 tattoos and work in a professional environment. My job is a bit more relaxed about dress codes but I guess I don't have to worry about it since mine are on my back and right arm. Now I'm sure I would have stood out like a sore thumb if I still had both ears pierced and dyed hair ( blond and red at different times). I guess I'm almost completely "normal" by average American standards, especially since I shaved off my dreds a few months ago. It was because it was too labor intensive to maintain not from pressures at work. I tried to keep them as clean and neat as possible but there only so much time that can be spent pulling animal hair and lint from all that hair. I do realize all of this was a part of me and I don't regret any of it. It's just new America coming of age. Piercings and tattoos are almost standard among younger people today. I still remember the electric-shock pain of the needle hitting nerves in my back when I added that tattoo almost 10 years ago, so I will have to wait to be truly inspired before I add a new one. I'm definitely not finished expressing myself but I do need to think about how far I'm willing to go with it and what job market I will be interested in later. It's a bit unrealistic to expect to be CEO with stretched earlobes and a neck tattoo, but maybe it's time to challenge all that.
Fried what????
I though I've heard it all but then I saw this article. Who in the hell would think of trying to fry Coke. This is why Americans are so overweight.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Red, White, and Duped
Americans always find politicains unsavory, so this story is of no surprise, especially this year.
Red, White, and Doobed
After reading this story, I couldn't help but giggle. Of course, that could be the smoke talking.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Another plot or accident?
This story will obviously cause another scare for New York and the rest of the country. Tragic accidents happen, and this is just a scary reminder of how vulnerable we are. I remember listening as details of 9/11 were pouring through the radio. It was surreal as I kept thinking it was a small plane like this that had crashed into the World Trade Center. It wasn't until our building (a federal office) was evacuated and everyone sent home that I realized there was something more I was missing. Of course we've all seen the horrible footage over and over, but something like that will always haunt your mind. Enough of that, something a little lighter perhaps for my next blog.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Peanut Butter and Leather Spread
What sounds like a bad appetizer is actually a great way to remove chewing gum from leather. How do I know this? Because I had the pleasure of orchestrating the perfect cover-up with my 8 year old niece. Last weekend, I was visiting my mom and the little one decided she was going to stay up and catch the second showing of Star Gate with Uncle Chico on Friday night. She hated it and passed out on my shoulder from boredom instead in the den while we were sitting on the couch. An hour later, when I stood up, I realized I was stuck to the couch by a 4 foot streaming mess of previously hot pink cheap gum. The gum was that can shaped, plastic-looking crap usually wrapped in blue, red and yellow wax paper with white letters, Bazooka Gum perhaps. It's the bane of every parent out there, but the most beloved piece of affordable candy available to an 8 year old. In that split second between standing and looking at that string of gum, I knew there was an ass-whoopin' coming. Kassie woke up, saw the gum stuck to me and the couch, and that look of absolute panic in her eyes appeared, nearly breaking my heart. In my most understanding, grown-up voice I told her, "You realize grandma is gonna beat your ass don't ya?" Now, before I hear about how it's not kosher to cuss in front of kids, my family is very open about the use of swear words. There are times and emergencies they can be used, based on a sliding age scale, but all the kids in the family know every single word by age 3 and who not to repeat them to. This was one of those times.
Now, Kassie follows most rules really well, but typically does not exude what I envisioned as typical 8 year old kid behavior towards adults. She's charming with a touch of smug, smart yet sassy, and asks strange adult-type questions like, "You seem distracted, what's on your mind today?" or "Have you had your daily supply of Vitamin C?" These are the things that make me like her, which is unexpected since I always thought of myself as not a kid person, but it is also that same attitude that gets her into trouble often. So, as this situation played out, she knew this was a dire situation her ass was in trouble again. She left her usually sharp witted quips out and just said in a shaky voice "I really didn't mean to!" Now, I had my share of troubles as a kid and my mom is not afraid to use the belt, her hand, or a switch, whatever is most convenient, to teach us what is wrong and what is right. What would have been right was Kassie spitting out her gum earlier when grandma said too, instead she was stubborn and had treaded knee high into a shit pile. This was my mom's favorite couch that was purchased last year, and was probably the most expensive thing in the house, and there was a 2 x 3" blob smeared into it's light smooth tan luxuriant seat cushion. That was definitely wrong. In that one moment of absolute horror, I looked at her with that dreaded slow head shake of disbelief to reconfirmed that she was definitely going to die tonight over this fuck-up when I realized maybe I should try to help her. It was strange. Looking at her I realized, quite by surprise, that I was the grown-up on duty then and I could try to help her get away with a crime. Doing this, I could easily surpass her own mother and become the coolest thing in her life! It was so manipulative and devious, I just had to give it a shot. I told Kassie not to panic and I would think of something. She then said in the most pathetic quivering voice I have ever heard come from anyone's lips, "I don't want to get a whuppin'." That's when guilt hit me for even thinking of doing this for anything other than love (and battling our common foe-grandma) and I officially decided I'd help her fix it before anyone was the wiser. I had just found out, first hand, that kids are experts when it comes to recruiting accomplices.
Now my plan was simple, grab an ice cube, put it on the chewing gum, and pull it off. The problem with that it turned out was that I had unwittingly mashed the gum into the fabric to the point where it had bonded to the cushion like crazy glue. Every piece we tried to pull would only give a little string to tease us with while the remaining glob sneered it's ugly miscolored torso. After 10 minutes, the stain looked even worse! Chunks were pulled out but we had hit the pint were it wouldn't even scrape up and now I had water all over the couch! Kassie was content to pick at it like a scab for God knows how long until I told her we should check the internet. The internet for her was games and Jaime Lynn Spears in the form of Zoey 101. I didn't even know Britney Spears' sister had a show. My suggestion to use the internet as a tool was the most foreign thing to her. I felt obligated to tell her in the cheeziest South Park version of Al Gore that I could manage, "The internet is the most powerful tool a kid can use to find Manbearpig. That's why I invented it." I found out quickly my sense of humor is lost to an 8 year old girl who only watches the Disney channel and Nickelodien. Actually, it's lost to most of the population.
After a quick entry of "gum leather couch removal" into the Google box, I saw multiple hits of the same thing: peanut butter. Turns out peanut butter will remove gum from quite a bit of stuff. Who would have thought. Kassie thought I was bull-shitting her and almost went into hysterics when I pulled the peanut butter out of the cabinet and spread it over my mother's cushions. To tell the truth, I was a bit nervous myself at this point. I wiped on, then wiped off like the Karate Kid and to my surprise some of the gum came up! The problem was there was still gum! A little more reading told me that it may have to be repeated 4-5 times. No problem. Now usually, this is the happy finale, but a horrible twist happened. The reason I was home in the first place was for my mom's surprise retirement party. The party was tomorrow, Saturday night, and my sister, Kassie's mom, had went to Walmart earlier for a late-night supply run with my cousin to make some tuna-fish salad for the party (of course they bought it to give to my mom for her to make it for her own party, but mom thought she was making it for someone else's party, now that's fucked up). Well, I hear a car door close outside and realize it's my sister and cousin getting back from Walmart. Kassie looks at me all wild-eyed, like a cornered dog, and I know we are sooooo busted. Her mom will help clean up the mess, but Kassie will bet a spanking regardless. When she realized I didn't have a plan, her look of panic lessened and her shoulders slumped and she ran to the couch and what I thought would be a hug was actually her throwing her body on the couch over the stain just as her mom opens the back door to the den where we were watching TV. I have to admit Kassie is much better under stress than I was as a kid, she relaxed her body and it looked like she was out cold, directly over the stain. My sister said, "Awh she fell asleep out here?" And I just responded, yep she was watching TV with me. I was knee-deep in subterfuge now so I had to go along with the ride, damn that Kassie.
Well, of course, since my sister is making all that noise putting stuff up at midnight, my mom wakes up and comes into the kitchen/den area (it's designed with that open floor plan where the kitchen and den are all one big room). Kassie's "asleep" and hasn't opened one eye or moved a muscle, even when I whispered to her she had better not move no matter what. In a panic I realized I left the peanut butter sitting on the couch, my mother's couch, the expensive "you had better not eat on my couch or I'm gonna make you eat the crumbs off it" couch. Shit, I might be in trouble. Somehow, I managed to grab the peanut butter, slide it behind my back, get it to the kitchen and just as I put it on the counter, my mom turns around and sees me trying to sneak it back. "What are you doing with that peanut butter?" she asks. "Uhm, I was just craving some." I replied. Luckily, my family members are a little over-weight so late night craving are completely understandable. Being the skinniest in the family, I'm always encouraged to "put on a little weight" since I was too thin at 160 lbs. I dropped the peanut butter on the counter, looked at Kassie who was still sleeping, and breathed a sigh of relief. Kassie was suppose to stay the night at Grandma's so my sister and cousin left after another 5 minutes and my mom decided she was really tired and I should carry Kassie to bed whenever I was ready to sleep. We said our goodnights and as soon as my mom had went to her room, Kassie came to life. We both grabbed for the peanut butter, ran to the couch and applied layer after layer of peanut butter until finally, it was gone. It just dissolved into a liquid goo that wiped right off. The couch actually looked really great in that one spot. Maybe a little too great. Are you suppose to oil leather to give it a nice healthy glow? I guess it is skin so a little cocoa butter couldn't hurt. Anyway, as we got out the remaining gum residue, I looked at Kassie and told her, she got lucky this time but she needs to be more careful. All she said was "it took you long enough to clean it," gave me a hug, and went to sleep on the chair next to me. Kids, so arrogant, needy, troublesome, yet so charming. She refused to leave my side most of the weekend so I guess we are best friends for now, at least until it's not cool to hang around your uncle during visits. If that happens, I'll probably be a little sad, but hopefully she'll eventually remember that time Uncle Chico helped her get gum out of grandma's chair and call me up to say "Hi" occasionally. Afterall, if I can't be the coolest person she knows, at least I can be her favorite uncle.
Now, Kassie follows most rules really well, but typically does not exude what I envisioned as typical 8 year old kid behavior towards adults. She's charming with a touch of smug, smart yet sassy, and asks strange adult-type questions like, "You seem distracted, what's on your mind today?" or "Have you had your daily supply of Vitamin C?" These are the things that make me like her, which is unexpected since I always thought of myself as not a kid person, but it is also that same attitude that gets her into trouble often. So, as this situation played out, she knew this was a dire situation her ass was in trouble again. She left her usually sharp witted quips out and just said in a shaky voice "I really didn't mean to!" Now, I had my share of troubles as a kid and my mom is not afraid to use the belt, her hand, or a switch, whatever is most convenient, to teach us what is wrong and what is right. What would have been right was Kassie spitting out her gum earlier when grandma said too, instead she was stubborn and had treaded knee high into a shit pile. This was my mom's favorite couch that was purchased last year, and was probably the most expensive thing in the house, and there was a 2 x 3" blob smeared into it's light smooth tan luxuriant seat cushion. That was definitely wrong. In that one moment of absolute horror, I looked at her with that dreaded slow head shake of disbelief to reconfirmed that she was definitely going to die tonight over this fuck-up when I realized maybe I should try to help her. It was strange. Looking at her I realized, quite by surprise, that I was the grown-up on duty then and I could try to help her get away with a crime. Doing this, I could easily surpass her own mother and become the coolest thing in her life! It was so manipulative and devious, I just had to give it a shot. I told Kassie not to panic and I would think of something. She then said in the most pathetic quivering voice I have ever heard come from anyone's lips, "I don't want to get a whuppin'." That's when guilt hit me for even thinking of doing this for anything other than love (and battling our common foe-grandma) and I officially decided I'd help her fix it before anyone was the wiser. I had just found out, first hand, that kids are experts when it comes to recruiting accomplices.
Now my plan was simple, grab an ice cube, put it on the chewing gum, and pull it off. The problem with that it turned out was that I had unwittingly mashed the gum into the fabric to the point where it had bonded to the cushion like crazy glue. Every piece we tried to pull would only give a little string to tease us with while the remaining glob sneered it's ugly miscolored torso. After 10 minutes, the stain looked even worse! Chunks were pulled out but we had hit the pint were it wouldn't even scrape up and now I had water all over the couch! Kassie was content to pick at it like a scab for God knows how long until I told her we should check the internet. The internet for her was games and Jaime Lynn Spears in the form of Zoey 101. I didn't even know Britney Spears' sister had a show. My suggestion to use the internet as a tool was the most foreign thing to her. I felt obligated to tell her in the cheeziest South Park version of Al Gore that I could manage, "The internet is the most powerful tool a kid can use to find Manbearpig. That's why I invented it." I found out quickly my sense of humor is lost to an 8 year old girl who only watches the Disney channel and Nickelodien. Actually, it's lost to most of the population.
After a quick entry of "gum leather couch removal" into the Google box, I saw multiple hits of the same thing: peanut butter. Turns out peanut butter will remove gum from quite a bit of stuff. Who would have thought. Kassie thought I was bull-shitting her and almost went into hysterics when I pulled the peanut butter out of the cabinet and spread it over my mother's cushions. To tell the truth, I was a bit nervous myself at this point. I wiped on, then wiped off like the Karate Kid and to my surprise some of the gum came up! The problem was there was still gum! A little more reading told me that it may have to be repeated 4-5 times. No problem. Now usually, this is the happy finale, but a horrible twist happened. The reason I was home in the first place was for my mom's surprise retirement party. The party was tomorrow, Saturday night, and my sister, Kassie's mom, had went to Walmart earlier for a late-night supply run with my cousin to make some tuna-fish salad for the party (of course they bought it to give to my mom for her to make it for her own party, but mom thought she was making it for someone else's party, now that's fucked up). Well, I hear a car door close outside and realize it's my sister and cousin getting back from Walmart. Kassie looks at me all wild-eyed, like a cornered dog, and I know we are sooooo busted. Her mom will help clean up the mess, but Kassie will bet a spanking regardless. When she realized I didn't have a plan, her look of panic lessened and her shoulders slumped and she ran to the couch and what I thought would be a hug was actually her throwing her body on the couch over the stain just as her mom opens the back door to the den where we were watching TV. I have to admit Kassie is much better under stress than I was as a kid, she relaxed her body and it looked like she was out cold, directly over the stain. My sister said, "Awh she fell asleep out here?" And I just responded, yep she was watching TV with me. I was knee-deep in subterfuge now so I had to go along with the ride, damn that Kassie.
Well, of course, since my sister is making all that noise putting stuff up at midnight, my mom wakes up and comes into the kitchen/den area (it's designed with that open floor plan where the kitchen and den are all one big room). Kassie's "asleep" and hasn't opened one eye or moved a muscle, even when I whispered to her she had better not move no matter what. In a panic I realized I left the peanut butter sitting on the couch, my mother's couch, the expensive "you had better not eat on my couch or I'm gonna make you eat the crumbs off it" couch. Shit, I might be in trouble. Somehow, I managed to grab the peanut butter, slide it behind my back, get it to the kitchen and just as I put it on the counter, my mom turns around and sees me trying to sneak it back. "What are you doing with that peanut butter?" she asks. "Uhm, I was just craving some." I replied. Luckily, my family members are a little over-weight so late night craving are completely understandable. Being the skinniest in the family, I'm always encouraged to "put on a little weight" since I was too thin at 160 lbs. I dropped the peanut butter on the counter, looked at Kassie who was still sleeping, and breathed a sigh of relief. Kassie was suppose to stay the night at Grandma's so my sister and cousin left after another 5 minutes and my mom decided she was really tired and I should carry Kassie to bed whenever I was ready to sleep. We said our goodnights and as soon as my mom had went to her room, Kassie came to life. We both grabbed for the peanut butter, ran to the couch and applied layer after layer of peanut butter until finally, it was gone. It just dissolved into a liquid goo that wiped right off. The couch actually looked really great in that one spot. Maybe a little too great. Are you suppose to oil leather to give it a nice healthy glow? I guess it is skin so a little cocoa butter couldn't hurt. Anyway, as we got out the remaining gum residue, I looked at Kassie and told her, she got lucky this time but she needs to be more careful. All she said was "it took you long enough to clean it," gave me a hug, and went to sleep on the chair next to me. Kids, so arrogant, needy, troublesome, yet so charming. She refused to leave my side most of the weekend so I guess we are best friends for now, at least until it's not cool to hang around your uncle during visits. If that happens, I'll probably be a little sad, but hopefully she'll eventually remember that time Uncle Chico helped her get gum out of grandma's chair and call me up to say "Hi" occasionally. Afterall, if I can't be the coolest person she knows, at least I can be her favorite uncle.
Cabernet, Cannabis, and Coffee. Oh my!
Next time you visit grandma, fire one up with her over a glass of wine and toast to her health. Two new studies released findings indicating red wine and THC may help or even prevent Alzheimer's. Of course, moderation is key, so those all-night booze/toke fests while listening to the Dead do not count as therapy. But if you do really enjoy knocking them back, here is more good news. Drink an extra cup of java during the morning hangover to beat down that pesky cirrhosis. That's right, another study implies that coffee may be used to reduce chronic liver disease from your (my) utter lack of control. Mmmmm, increasing one vice to fix another, now that's science, and I don't have to hold out for that transgenic pig liver.
Bitch Slap
Well, I've been reading blogs like crazy lately trying to keep up with the local political race and found some juicy stuff. Former commissioner candidate Chuck Jones has gotten himself into some hot water in the blogger world, specifically at the Safe As Houses blog. Former candidates, especially those with plans on hold, should never call a potential voter with different views, "an Internet clown who probably doesn't even have a real job." Even if someone presses your buttons, that's just asking for trouble. Jones made an attempt to remedy the situation, but unfortunately people tend to hate being called a joke in public forums. Also, you should avoid insulting a blogger at his own site, that's just dangerous. Hence, the expected shot heard around the world, in the form of an open letter to Chuck Jones, has been fired. JMAC retorted with a well written piece, offering an apology along the line of Chuck's but it sets the stage for a WWF Smackdown in the internet arena. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
"Colliding With Death at 37,000 Feet, and Living"
There was a tragic story earlier this week I believe, about a plane crash in Brazil that killed 155 people. This story is a harrowing recall of a New York Times writer who was on the smaller corporate jet that survived the collision with a 737 commercial liner at 37,000 ft. A very emotional piece I suggest you read, unless it will completely destroy your desire to fly again. The website may require you to log-in unfortunately. You decide if you want to read it bad enough.
Foley's Follies
Well everyone in news is discussing the Foley scandal. What's sad is that morons will use this as ammunition against homosexuality. What's funny is that this is causing a flurry of activity, similar to stepping on an ant hill, in some of the highest Republican-held offices. Mere weeks before the election, and the shit hits the fan. Also funny is that alcohol and a clergyman drove Foley to his dirty little habits. Give me a break! Honestly, is the American right desperate enough to believe in this bull. As a tried and true drunk, I take great offense at that statement. After some of my biggest throwdowns, I couldn't even pick up a phone, much less press a bunch of tiny buttons to send dirty messages to a underage kids. His life story should be a turned into a Lifetime movie, something catchy like, "Wrong Way to the Right Wing." I have enjoyed reading several articles on how this is all part of a Democratic/liberal scandal designed to topple the Republican party. My favorite was our old friend Newt's take on the whole situation. You can't argue against such a solid statement. Jeez. I'm actually glad the Republican Party isn't owning up to the issue because it could have been used as a weapon if they just dealt with it firmly and swiftly, saying they won't stand for any misbehavior such as this (although a lot of those Congressman are pigs-what do you expect with old men with big power in government). I just wish the Democrats could be that sneaky, then we wouldn't have to deal with Bush today. Now I hope people don't see this as a gay issue, just a pervert issue. Homosexuality shouldn't be the focus of this disgusting behavior, just sexual predation. It's wrong be it boy or girl. I'm just suspicious though of how many people would have poo-pooed this or been less disgusted if these were young girls he had texted? Well, let me leave you with this great segment from the Daily Show that indicate cover-ups and finger pointed all the way up the political tree, and a final sucker punch to Fox News. Man I love that show. Here's the two Segments: 1 and 2. I think you need to watch #2 first.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Lend me some suga', I am your neighbor. Ahh here we go!
Anybody who has lived near downtown Athens for some time knows that moving into a cool place in this town can be a gamble. Your neighbors can be old, drunks, townies, musicians, hookers, a family of 4, or worst of all Republican, and all of that packaged in a random assortment of ethnic backgrounds that would rival the UN. That is why I love this town! Statistically, you should never be bored when living in Athens since even with the most vanilla of neighborhoods will have some drama, outside of an upperclass subdivision. This is what I hoped at least moving from downtown to the house Bruno and I now live in.
My original place was on Cleveland Ave., off of Pulaski St. for 5 years. I saw crack-heads and trannie hookers from day one, and became friends with many a strange character while checking my mail. Do any of you know the deaf homeless lady who supposedly had a baby a few years ago and is caring for it under the North Avenue bridge? She used to stop by my old house and "chat" giving me a hug and never asked for money-which is why I liked her. When I saw her downtown, there was a $3 association fee for that hug, but it's worth it to put a smile on my face. Bruno had been getting a hug or 2 from association with me, but we haven't seen her in a year. Hope she's OK, no matter if she was pulling our leg.
Anyway, I'm used to crazy neighbor stuff and moving away to Whitehead off Jefferson Rd., I was going to miss it. Owning your own home makes up for the pain of losing a low rent in-town home, but you can only handle so much drama, like the pregnant hooker walking up the driveway and asking your friends for a beer during a Superbowl Party (which we nicely said no to) or having "Cornbread" one of the old school local homeless guys serenade you with "Billie Jean" after giving him a sandwich (rest in peace man, I heard you passed away). The old neighborhood changed over the course of 5 years but leaving the gentrifying New Town a year ago, it seemed I was destined for what I thought would be ordinary. I realize now that certain parts of the West side are anything but.
I first spotted my new home on Whitehead Road one day while surveying the Upper Oconee Watershed Network's Turkey Creek water quality sampling site for River Rendezvous. I had decided it was time to go from renter to owner since the upcoming Chico/Bruno housing merger would mean a combination of 3 dogs, a cat, a broke down VW, and a ton of fish that no sane landlord would allow without a hefty security deposit. This house was built in the 30s and stood out from the surrounding ranch style homes typical of the West-side. It was a1500 sq. ft 3 bdrm Georgian style cottage with a new metal roof and four fireplaces on a totally fenced 3/4 of an acre plot. I instantly fell in love with it (and the yard was perfect for 3 dogs) and realized this place was too good to let go, especially for the price. After the whole mortgage dance, I became the new owner of a house on the West-side. Years ago, I delivered pizzas in the area for the Prince Ave Pizza Hut so I knew the neighborhood and loved the fact that I could be downtown in 10 minutes or hit I-85 the other way in 20.
The great move-in had my new yard looking like a thrift store with non-matching furniture splayed across the lawn and my poor 3 wheeled lawnmower sitting prominantly in front. My friends who helped me move giggled as people stopped by and asked me how much I was asking for my stuff (folks thought it was a yard sale). After Bruno scurried into the new place to drag me back out and get rid of this lady wanting to buy that lawnmower, I knew this place was colorful enough to feel like home in no time (I should have sold it to her). This was confirmed when I met one of the new neighbors.
Now, on one side of my new place lives this nice quiet retired couple who are so cute with visiting grandkids and a workshop in the backyard that would make Bob Villa envious. On the other side however is Rick, the ultimate scary neighbor who terrifies every single friend that spots him outside his place. He is a greasy, lanky guy with old burns on one side of his body and a bad leg he drags behind him, and I assumed he was absolutly insane. The first day we moved in, he came over and Bruno sent him straight to me under the guise that he couldn't understand what Rick was saying. To give Bruno credit, I grew up in Dublin, GA and Rick had an accent that would rival Boomhauer from "King of the Hill." Needless to say, I understood him effortlessly. He introduced himself and offered his service as a shadetree mechanic and gardner (specifically grass-cutter). While slightly terrified, I said no thanks, but even today he offers to cut it at monthly intervals. He's hit us up for beer on Sundays, and a cell phone from time to time, but he's actually a good neighbor. Anytime we have a party, he offers his yard for people to park, and I never says anything about the noise. He seems OK, it's just hard to get over that first impression when you see him.
One really strange thing about Rick is that he also sells stuff on the side of the road in front of his house. There has been baby strollers, rims, engine cranes, various lawn cutting devices, and just the other day he was walking towards home with an indoor security system complete with a monitor and several security cameras wrapped around his neck (Bruno and I had to laugh at the irony). A lot of stuff he gets comes from people trying to pay him for car repairs (I think), which he seems to be very good at, but I wonder about most of it. Anyway, I try not to be judgemental with folks (whatever-we all do it) but we had our suspicions about him, and honestly after my various conversations with him, I think he's not too bad a person but he might have a serious monkey or two on his back. He can be chatty and has some great stories if you stop to listen, but he has those glazed shifting eyes that make me hesitant to trust him too much. I envision him looking after the dogs while we were out of town, and having him forget about them or sell them on the side of the road. It actually makes me laugh thinking of my oldest, Maggie, being bought by some hapless family. She's an old crabby leaky arthritic bitch that terrorizes all the other beasts. Gotta love her.
Well, one day at work, my secretary was reading the ABH Police Blotter and said, "Hey, ain't this your neighbor!" I read this police blurb and it confirmed all my suspicions. Meth is nothing to joke around with kiddies. You think you are in control but it will eat you alive. I personally hadn't tried it but I have had relatives who are hooked and can't be trusted. They need their next fix and have nothing left to barter. Well, there's always one thing that can be sold repeatedly, but most decent folks try not to get mixed up in that. Now, that blurb really wasn't a surprise, we knew he had some issues but it's always jolting to have your suspicions confirmed in the city newspaper for all the world to see. Rick is definitely scary looking, probably with a drug habit, but what townie hasn't had association with at least one shady character. As I told Bruno, treat him with respect and civility like any normal person and we won't have anything to worry about, plus I really do think he is a good guy under that rough exterior. At least I can hope so.
A year after moving in, it seems the new neighborhood does feels a little like my previous home, which believe it or not, is nice. It has just a touch of drama, but not all the random crazies who would walk through on their way to downtown. I can also raise hell every once in a while and not worry about pissing off the neighbors since there's more yard to party in and buffer sounds. It's heaven. I guess what some would see as a scary neighbor, I see as a welcomed diversion from my own subjectively dysfunctional household. Sure our little sanctuary can be a bit weird at times, but I think it makes home a bit more fun. If life at home was the same day after day, the house wouldn't have developed a personality so quickly. In the end, I hope the neighbors don't label us as the wierdos and that Rick has sold his computer, if he had one, so he can't read this. I'd hate to be caught up in neighborhood gossip instead of becoming the trendy half vegan household with a compost pile and a pink flamingo. Is a pink flamingo retro-trendy now or just trashy? Who cares, I guess our new place now contributes to an already colorful neighborhood.
My original place was on Cleveland Ave., off of Pulaski St. for 5 years. I saw crack-heads and trannie hookers from day one, and became friends with many a strange character while checking my mail. Do any of you know the deaf homeless lady who supposedly had a baby a few years ago and is caring for it under the North Avenue bridge? She used to stop by my old house and "chat" giving me a hug and never asked for money-which is why I liked her. When I saw her downtown, there was a $3 association fee for that hug, but it's worth it to put a smile on my face. Bruno had been getting a hug or 2 from association with me, but we haven't seen her in a year. Hope she's OK, no matter if she was pulling our leg.
Anyway, I'm used to crazy neighbor stuff and moving away to Whitehead off Jefferson Rd., I was going to miss it. Owning your own home makes up for the pain of losing a low rent in-town home, but you can only handle so much drama, like the pregnant hooker walking up the driveway and asking your friends for a beer during a Superbowl Party (which we nicely said no to) or having "Cornbread" one of the old school local homeless guys serenade you with "Billie Jean" after giving him a sandwich (rest in peace man, I heard you passed away). The old neighborhood changed over the course of 5 years but leaving the gentrifying New Town a year ago, it seemed I was destined for what I thought would be ordinary. I realize now that certain parts of the West side are anything but.
I first spotted my new home on Whitehead Road one day while surveying the Upper Oconee Watershed Network's Turkey Creek water quality sampling site for River Rendezvous. I had decided it was time to go from renter to owner since the upcoming Chico/Bruno housing merger would mean a combination of 3 dogs, a cat, a broke down VW, and a ton of fish that no sane landlord would allow without a hefty security deposit. This house was built in the 30s and stood out from the surrounding ranch style homes typical of the West-side. It was a1500 sq. ft 3 bdrm Georgian style cottage with a new metal roof and four fireplaces on a totally fenced 3/4 of an acre plot. I instantly fell in love with it (and the yard was perfect for 3 dogs) and realized this place was too good to let go, especially for the price. After the whole mortgage dance, I became the new owner of a house on the West-side. Years ago, I delivered pizzas in the area for the Prince Ave Pizza Hut so I knew the neighborhood and loved the fact that I could be downtown in 10 minutes or hit I-85 the other way in 20.
The great move-in had my new yard looking like a thrift store with non-matching furniture splayed across the lawn and my poor 3 wheeled lawnmower sitting prominantly in front. My friends who helped me move giggled as people stopped by and asked me how much I was asking for my stuff (folks thought it was a yard sale). After Bruno scurried into the new place to drag me back out and get rid of this lady wanting to buy that lawnmower, I knew this place was colorful enough to feel like home in no time (I should have sold it to her). This was confirmed when I met one of the new neighbors.
Now, on one side of my new place lives this nice quiet retired couple who are so cute with visiting grandkids and a workshop in the backyard that would make Bob Villa envious. On the other side however is Rick, the ultimate scary neighbor who terrifies every single friend that spots him outside his place. He is a greasy, lanky guy with old burns on one side of his body and a bad leg he drags behind him, and I assumed he was absolutly insane. The first day we moved in, he came over and Bruno sent him straight to me under the guise that he couldn't understand what Rick was saying. To give Bruno credit, I grew up in Dublin, GA and Rick had an accent that would rival Boomhauer from "King of the Hill." Needless to say, I understood him effortlessly. He introduced himself and offered his service as a shadetree mechanic and gardner (specifically grass-cutter). While slightly terrified, I said no thanks, but even today he offers to cut it at monthly intervals. He's hit us up for beer on Sundays, and a cell phone from time to time, but he's actually a good neighbor. Anytime we have a party, he offers his yard for people to park, and I never says anything about the noise. He seems OK, it's just hard to get over that first impression when you see him.
One really strange thing about Rick is that he also sells stuff on the side of the road in front of his house. There has been baby strollers, rims, engine cranes, various lawn cutting devices, and just the other day he was walking towards home with an indoor security system complete with a monitor and several security cameras wrapped around his neck (Bruno and I had to laugh at the irony). A lot of stuff he gets comes from people trying to pay him for car repairs (I think), which he seems to be very good at, but I wonder about most of it. Anyway, I try not to be judgemental with folks (whatever-we all do it) but we had our suspicions about him, and honestly after my various conversations with him, I think he's not too bad a person but he might have a serious monkey or two on his back. He can be chatty and has some great stories if you stop to listen, but he has those glazed shifting eyes that make me hesitant to trust him too much. I envision him looking after the dogs while we were out of town, and having him forget about them or sell them on the side of the road. It actually makes me laugh thinking of my oldest, Maggie, being bought by some hapless family. She's an old crabby leaky arthritic bitch that terrorizes all the other beasts. Gotta love her.
Well, one day at work, my secretary was reading the ABH Police Blotter and said, "Hey, ain't this your neighbor!" I read this police blurb and it confirmed all my suspicions. Meth is nothing to joke around with kiddies. You think you are in control but it will eat you alive. I personally hadn't tried it but I have had relatives who are hooked and can't be trusted. They need their next fix and have nothing left to barter. Well, there's always one thing that can be sold repeatedly, but most decent folks try not to get mixed up in that. Now, that blurb really wasn't a surprise, we knew he had some issues but it's always jolting to have your suspicions confirmed in the city newspaper for all the world to see. Rick is definitely scary looking, probably with a drug habit, but what townie hasn't had association with at least one shady character. As I told Bruno, treat him with respect and civility like any normal person and we won't have anything to worry about, plus I really do think he is a good guy under that rough exterior. At least I can hope so.
A year after moving in, it seems the new neighborhood does feels a little like my previous home, which believe it or not, is nice. It has just a touch of drama, but not all the random crazies who would walk through on their way to downtown. I can also raise hell every once in a while and not worry about pissing off the neighbors since there's more yard to party in and buffer sounds. It's heaven. I guess what some would see as a scary neighbor, I see as a welcomed diversion from my own subjectively dysfunctional household. Sure our little sanctuary can be a bit weird at times, but I think it makes home a bit more fun. If life at home was the same day after day, the house wouldn't have developed a personality so quickly. In the end, I hope the neighbors don't label us as the wierdos and that Rick has sold his computer, if he had one, so he can't read this. I'd hate to be caught up in neighborhood gossip instead of becoming the trendy half vegan household with a compost pile and a pink flamingo. Is a pink flamingo retro-trendy now or just trashy? Who cares, I guess our new place now contributes to an already colorful neighborhood.
How drunk do you have to be?
An earlier bog criticized the fratty side of town, specifically Flanigans, but crazies do have feet, although no common sense, and can go anywhere downtown. Take this jackass. He jumps on strangers, get the shit knocked out of him, the police actually come to his aid, and he spits blood in their faces and claims he has AIDS. He really needs some professional help. Should we blame it on the pressures of booze and classes. I doubt it. Stupidity like this can only be placed on the individual. There are people who really are sick out there that don't need another stigma. I hope his probation requires him to perform some serious community service with AIDS Athens or another similar group.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Sha-Flanagans
Obviously, I'm a Police Blotter junkie. That's were I found this gem. I originally went into this thinking it was a typical frat boy fight, but I was shocked to see it was a chick brawl. Well, brawl is a overstatement, more like a drunk chick slamming a glass into a bartender's head. She should have gotten her ass whooped. There are a lot of things people could say to me to get me mad, especially while drunk, but I don't think I would be capable of smashing my glass into their head. That's a waste of good booze. Seriously, I hope you're OK bartender lady, maybe you should look for a calmer job over the townie bar line of demarcation. At least you only have to worry about PBR cans getting thrown at you, much less damage.
Eating at the Red Mobster
The Red Lobster has had a few shooting incidents in the past few years. The latest shooting incident has emphasize the fact that it's not nice to boil a creature alive and the Dred Lobster is not the fine dining experience that middle-class white chuch-going suburbia paints it to be. Go to the Grit or the Farm for something a little more interesting, diverse, and less bullet ridden.
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